Searching for Solace
by DQueenie13
Summary: Akatsuki feels like the odd one out in the guild. Even the two kids that aren't in the guild are closer to the others than she is. A trip with Henrietta for comfort ends up with an unexpected person. Takes place right after the formation of the Round Table Council (in between episodes 9 and 10 of the anime).


**Summary:** Akatsuki feels like the odd one out in the guild. Even the two kids that aren't in the guild are closer to the others than she is. A trip with Henrietta for comfort ends up with an unexpected person.

* * *

She wasn't sure where she was going. For all she knew, she just wanted time to think alone. Deftly leaping from tree limb to tree limb, Akatsuki stopped at a thick branch that could easily support her weight, deciding to settle there. She gracefully sat down on the branch, slowly swinging her legs back-and-forth as she thought about everything that had transpired in the past two weeks.

They had returned from Susukino after accepting Maryelle's request to rescue Serara from Brigandia's clutches. There, she witnessed the fighting capabilities of her lord, Naotsugu, and the Chief. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she thought of it. They had worked seamlessly together, without even communicating. Even if she told herself that they could do it because they had partied together for two years prior to the Apocalypse, she still felt pained that she didn't share that same connection with Shiroe - or anyone, really. _Will I ever become that good?_ Akatsuki wondered to herself. She bit her lip, pondering over how much she would have to do to prove her worth to her lord. _But does it really matter?_ _Does he really want that?_ Inner turmoil was churning in her heart, and she couldn't make it go away.

The sound of some familiar laughter momentarily drew her out of her thoughts. She realized that she wasn't too far away from one of the shopping areas of the city. With her enhanced Adventurer eyesight, she could pinpoint the source of the laughter, which came from some former Hamelin members that she had helped in rescuing. _That's right_, Akatsuki thought to herself. _After my lord learned about Hamelin and the state of the twins, he took the initiative._ Again, she started chewing on her lips in thought. Shiroe wanted change, so he took several daring moves to accomplish his goal. And she? All she could do was sit there and wait for instructions. Of course, the purpose of a ninja was to serve her master. But even that thought couldn't reassure her. Nyanta had discovered something as amazing as good-tasting food. Naotsugu, for all his panties-loving, was a capable teacher and a motivator for the young ones. Minori and Touya were Shiroe's precious students and were developing in their own rights. And Akatsuki herself had nothing to offer. Before the Apocalypse, she was the silent Assassin, only aiding others when requested; Assassins were lone wolves and had no need to interact with others.

Weren't they?

But after the Apocalypse, she had found that this mentality had worked far to her disadvantage. She had few people to fall back on and was faced with many uncertainties. Her avatar, purposefully designed to be almost the exact opposite of her physical self, turned out to be a huge detriment. Thankfully, she was able to find Shiroe, who was generous enough to not only give her the immensely-rare Appearance Changing Potion, but also allow (did he allow her, or did she force him?) her to accompany him on his journeys. For that, she was eternally grateful, but she wasn't quite sure _how_ to express her gratitude in any way besides serving him with utmost dedication. But did he really …?

Akatsuki shook her head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. She was worrying too much. The aroma of tasty-smelling food that reminded her of home was wafting over, making her hungry. It had been a little over a week since the Round Table Council had been founded and the secret to tasty food had been revealed to the public. _Perhaps the Chief would like it if I brought some groceries home for dinner._ With that thought in mind, she lept off the tree and landed with a soft thud on the ground.

"A-ka-tsu-ki-chaaaann~~!" The all-too-familiar, sing-song voice rang through the air. Akatsuki instantly regretted her decision. The second's hesitation was too long; Henrietta almost immediately hugged - no, tackled - the petite girl and began coddling her in the middle of the streets of Akiba, much to the bewilderment of onlookers that saw her as a calm, serious, big-sister figure.

_I should have known!_ Akatsuki chastised herself for this miscalculation. _Those former Hamelin members joined the Crescent Moon Alliance! Henrietta was bound to be somewhere around here, overseeing them._ The excessive attention poured onto her by the older woman had long passed the line of being invasive. Despite that, Henrietta was a willing listener and a competent advisor when needed.

This was one such time. Henrietta soon noticed that Akatsuki had a different air from normal and instantly changed her coddling to concern. "Akatsuki-chan?" She frowned slightly. "Is something wrong?" Crouching next to the petite lady - to call her a girl was technically improper - she placed her hands on Akatsuki's shoulders, whose eyes were downcast as she fidgeted her body awkwardly.

"It's - nothing much." _Too unconvincing, _Akatsuki told herself. "I … just feel a bit … useless next to my lord." As she spoke, her voice fell into a barely-audible whisper. But Henrietta had caught her words and was speechless for a moment. A cough from one of the new Crescent Moon members brought her attention to the onlookers at the scene, whom she calmly waved off. Standing up, she offered her hand to Akatsuki, knowing that this Assassin didn't really need it. Nevertheless, the younger girl took her hand to pull herself up, and the two walked together silently before Henrietta spoke up.

"Akatsuki-chan, you can confide in me. And trust me, Shiroe values you as much as the others. From what I've heard, you've been a vital part of his plans."

_But only because he formed the plan with me in it. If I wasn't there, I may as very well just …_

"Akatsuki-chan." The voice was firm, sharp, cutting. Akatsuki instinctively looked at Henrietta, who bore a frown of both concern and a twinge of anger. "You should value yourself and your own skills instead of relying on other peoples' use for you in battle to measure your capabilities. You're just relying on Shiroe-sama too much." But even if Henrietta said that, Akatsuki couldn't help it. Shiroe just naturally plotted and devised strategies. It was his nature. She simply was swept up by it and went with the flow, she couldn't change anything. Henrietta could sense Akatsuki's feelings and suddenly quickened her pace, walking briskly and scanning the area with her eyes.

"Um … what are you …?" Akatsuki had no trouble keeping up, that wasn't the problem. She simply had no clue what the older woman was trying to do. Suddenly, the woman's face lit up as she looked at a coffee-stand-like place. There sat a man among neat stacks of papers, occasionally stopping his work to have a sip of whatever he was drinking. The Black Sword Knights' quartermaster, Rezarick, was sifting through a mere portion of the sea of papers he had to deal with on a daily basis since the Apocalypse had occurred. He had a stern appearance, and as a member of one of Akiba's most elitist guilds, so he probably didn't want to have anything to do with a no-name, loner Assassin and a non-combatant Bard. But the Henrietta that diverted from her path to go visit him held no hesitation in her step. "Isn't he a bit … scary?" Akatsuki felt embarrassed using such a childish, unprofessional word, but she had no other way to describe him.

"He might not seem like it, but he is a very caring person. You just need to know what buttons to push to get him to open up." They would reach him in about six paces. A desire to leap away and hide was rising from Akatsuki's stomach, but she would just have to trust Henrietta on her assessment of the Sword Knight member.

"Good afternoon, Rezarick-san." The man looked up at her from the paper he was working on, his eyes inquisitive but his mouth remaining rigid. "Am I disturbing you?" He gave a rueful glance at his stack of papers and considered them for a brief moment before enthusiastically shaking his head 'no'. As she pulled a chair to sit across from him, he moved his papers to clear some space. Akatsuki, unsure of what to do, meekly sat down when Henrietta pulled up another chair for her.

"How is the paperwork going? Are your guild members still bullying you with all that work?" Hearing Henrietta speaking in a motherly way to this serious young man made Akatsuki feel like burying her face in shame. However, he did not seem to particularly care or notice the woman's speech patterns.

"I should be asking you that," he responded curtly. From what Akatsuki had heard from Naotsugu's and Shiroe's experiences with the Black Sword Knights, his responses were always this short unless it was 1) on a rare occasion that he bothered to explain something or 2) with a close friend (usually his guildmates). The idea of him "opening up" seemed difficult to grasp.

"Well, it's been a handful after gaining around thirty new members. All of the children from Hamelin, aside from two-" those two being Minori and Tohya "-joined our guild, so it's been a handful. Shoryuu put on a bit _too_ much bravado, I think they overestimate him now. In any case, I always just give the paperwork to Maryelle to sign."

"Is that how you managed to pull off your food stand scheme?"

"Indeed, it is," Henrietta replied with a hint of mischief in her voice as she pushed up her glasses.

Rezarick smiled. "I wish I could do something like that to Isaac. He's always relaxing, though."

Akatsuki couldn't fathom the idea of Isaac resting. He seemed rather boisterous and, honestly, a bit too hot-blooded. "Excuse my interruption, but by relaxing you mean -"

"Killing monsters. He finds it therapeutic."

His response reminded Akatsuki of when she was training with Shiroe and Naotsugu in the first two weeks after they had ended up trapped in this world. They had been practicing their techniques against goblins. She inadvertently smiled to herself, remembering the Goblin Shamans and how they were so easy to kill, strutting on the frontlines despite their low HP and armor.

"Do you agree with him?" Rezarick's voice brought her out of her daydreaming, much to the ninja's embarrassment, her face turning red. She could imagine his thoughts, which probably along the lines of '_How cute_' or '_As expected of a veteran Assassin_'. "Isaac usually forces me to go training with his elite team at night. I just go for the Goblin Shamans first, they're easy to take out." Akatsuki, who refused to lift her eyes to face him, felt her cheeks growing even hotter as his line of thinking matched hers' exactly. It wasn't anything to be particularly embarrassed about, but for some reason she felt embarrassed that a person whom she didn't know or really trust thought the same exact thing she did.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a hand gently stroking the top of her head. When her eyes jumped up in surprise, Rezarick immediately stopped patting her head. "I'm sorry. You didn't like that?"

"No, it's not that, it just surprised me."

"Ah, I see. I had figured that you were used to it," he responded a bit awkwardly while pointing his chin at Henrietta. Of _course_ he saw her getting viciously attacked by Henrietta earlier.

"But I just can't help it! Akatsuki's just too _cute_!" Much to the girl's agony, Henrietta pulled her into a tight embrace, stroking her hair in a more obsessive fashion than Rezarick had. "Don't you agree?"

Through Henrietta's hug - no, chokehold - Akatsuki could see Rezarick's uneasy, awkward smile. "Well, it depends on the kind of 'cute' you're talking about … she's a calm version of Kirin*ko."

"Kirin...ko?"

"The girl in the giraffe gear, you can't miss her. She recently got a new staff and persuaded the Woodcrafter that made it to style the top of it into a giraffe's head." The two women had the impression that she did such things quite often, considering his attitude about it. "And I doubt you two are here to talk about this. What is it that you need?"

_Forcing the subject so calmly … and without changing expressions … I had completely forgotten about why we're here, too._

To be rather honest, it was slightly intimidating for Akatsukii. However, her companion wasn't phased in the slightest. Perhaps she had more confidence after negotiating with the three main Production guilds for Shiroe's plan.

"We want to know about your guild's battle strategies."

"... What kind of strategies?"

"How does your guild normally set up groups for training or raiding?"

_So, she's trying to find out what they do … but why?_

"We usually just go with the people that we know we work well with. Isaac's not patient enough to try and explain all the strategies. Everyone has to pull their own weight. So it's not like we have a particular strategist that we rely on. Isaac thinks that it can be dangerous, relying on only a handful of people to make decisions for the entire group." Looking back and forth from Henrietta and Akatsuki, he must have understood Henrietta's initial intentions. "If you want to know more about working with a central strategist, you should talk to D.D.D.'s Takayama Misa-san. In fact," he glanced at the sky, "I should go back to my guild hall to rest. I have a meeting with her early tomorrow morning."

"Meeting?" Even Henrietta, who seemed relatively familiar with him, was surprised.

"Mm? Is it surprising?"

"Well, your guilds are rivals, after all."

"Well, we need to plan out what we're doing so that our guild masters don't meet in the middle of battling. It only causes trouble when they do. They can duel on their own time, not while we're trying to kill a Raid Boss."

"So they have-"

"Started dueling while the rest of us are trying to fight off a Raid Boss. And any time they are about to finish, if they don't get cut short by us, they're interrupted by Soujiro, and then Isaac's in a foul mood for days on end."

Internally, Akatsuki was snickering. Having heard Maryelle's ("Isaac's too elitist, he should be nicer"), Shiroe's ("Ah, he's very 'dedicated', I guess you could say"), and Naotsugu's ("He's too into his reputation") opinions on the guild master, she hadn't expected him to be so easily ruffled. She could see why Rezarick was stuck doing all of the administrative work; his guild master seemed to be swayed quickly by the flow of events. Her attention drew to his eyes, thinking about how Shiroe often looked tired because of all the paperwork that was dumped onto him as a result of the newly-formed Round Table Council. As she had expected, Rezarick, too, had a vague shadow of exhaustion under his eyes. A sense of pity rose. _He's just like my lord … shouldering such a burden. Henrietta-san, too … and yet I'm only there to be his ninja._

Before her thoughts could travel any further, she heard Henrietta's voice calling to her. Snapping out of her thoughts once again, Akatsuki saw her silhouette standing against the waning sun. "Let's go, Akatsuki-chan. Nyanta said that we're having curry tonight. Crescent Moon will be eating with Log Horizon tonight."

At the mention of curry, Akatsuki's eyes lit up, her body barely containing her eagerness. "Does my lord know that it's curry tonight?" Anyone watching them at that moment would have thought that Akatsuki was a young child with her current demeanor.

"I'm not sure. Let's return to your guild house and find out."

"Okay!"

After the two bid farewell to Rezarick, they left the man to himself. He gave a small chuckle to himself before straightening out the papers he had pushed to the side. A girl with spiky brown hair skipped over to his side and tugged on the fabric of the sleeve. "Ah, you're not wearing your giraffe gear today, Kirin." She silently grabbed him around his waist and pressed her face into his side before looking up at him with a wide grin. Sighing slightly with a small smile on his face, he gently ruffled her hair. "Come, Kirin. Let's go back to the guild hall."

As he turned to leave, she scooped some of the papers into the crook of her arm while grasping his sleeve in her free hand. They walked back to the Black Sword Knights' guild hall this way; by the lack of reactions from the others, this was probably a regular occurrence with her.

"By the way, Rezi-nii, what were they asking about?"

"Don't worry about it, Kirin."

"Were they asking you about dating?"

"Now why would they be asking me about that?"

"Do you think they're going out with anybody?"

"No, I don't think so. They might want to, but I doubt they are."

"Maybe the ninja feels too short. She could borrow my giraffe hat!"

"I think it's character-bound to you, and I doubt that would help her, either."

The two walked back to their guild house for a nice, relaxing night killing monsters. Akatsuki, for her part, had forgotten about her troubles for the moment. Being chased around by Henrietta probably played a part. But her worries were far from over.

* * *

First fan fic I've written in a while! This is just one of several different _Log Horizon_ fics I've thought up of. I was debating with myself whether to upload it here or not; it will probably be on my deviantArt later, as well. I tried adopting a bit of Mamare's writing style. Rezarick's probably really out-of-character, since there's very little of him (he's a minor character TnT). Kirin*ko is a name I just came up with for Giraffe-tan since she has none.

The whole "Killing Goblin Shamans" part is from the light novel, chapter 3 of volume 1, I believe. In the anime, she just says that they're cute.


End file.
